The Literartist

So… I’m finally back home, and I’ll be here for the whole summer. So far it’s been absolutely delectable. Okay, so I’m lying, I’ve actually been back home for a month now and I have one more month left. Yikes! By the time I got here I had the next post all typed up. It was actually ready to be posted before I left DC but for some reason that never happened—I got busy, and now it is somewhere bogged down in “My Documents.” Anyway, why not turn to something more interesting while I’m
down—like, Justin Beiber!

Stop it! Don’t judge. Why judge when I haven’t even started my crusade yet. Yes, so I know the very sound of his name makes some of you cringe, feel uneasy, queasy, cheesy and want to just smash a hole in that wall. You seem to be having the Miley Syndrome. I know I did, and I still haven’t found a cure for that disease; but, wouldn’t you say this so called “Bieber Fever” is taking a different and unexpected turn for some of you? Oh the horror!

Let’s get to the point. For some reason I know not, I didn’t like him. At first I thought it was an annoying eleven year old lesbian singing about love when I heard that song. But then that “she” became a “he,” who I would find out later is actually 16! Then he came on SNL and to my further pleasure couldn’t act to save his voice! But, note the use of the past tense, because right now, I honestly for some weird cosmically un-explainable reason, “okay” him. Meh. Why the change of attitude? It’s that fucking song, you know it, you’ve heard it, and I’m bloody sure you at least nodded to it when it goes “Baby, baby, baby, Ooooh.” He’s drilled it into my head and now I can’t get away from him or it. When you walk into a club in the US, you’re bound to hear a remix of that song, and here back in Sri Lanka, the first song I had to hear on my way back from the airport was, guess who?

It’s all a lie. People, well most of us, actually don’t mind him now, just because of one of his songs. Before this song came out, I just thought he’ll be trash when his voice finally cracks. Now, he’s actually become club playing material. I think the trick in the song resides in all that additional bass that booms in the song’s opening which makes us unwillingly gravitate to it. And really, why the hell is Ludacris in this song as well? Is he for some crack reason attracted to these little pretty white boys who try to not act like pansies but still make girls drool anyway? I’m sure his feature with the Justin Beiber Version 1, aka Jesse McCartney, rings a bell to you all? Déjà vu much.

So the Bieber Fever has become a pandemic, infecting even Sri Lanka. No I still don’t like him, just one of his songs, which has given him a royal pardon that prevents him from being crucified in this post. But why all the hate towards the guy whom most of you’ll secretly don’t mind? So fine the guys prettier that Miley Cyrus, heck, almost anyone is prettier than Miley Cyrus: maybe that’s just it! Wait, I’m making no sense. I’ll let you wonder and listen to him in secret, though I would advise you to come out and enjoy just that song in public. I mean if not for Luda, we’d all be hating that one song right. What’s that you said? Oh fuck what? There’s another one? That’s him!? USHER!!!! Adieu.