And, the winners are:
(Posted in order of date submitted)
“Its (Islam) teachings are good and peaceful. And those who commit evil in the name of Allah blaspheme the name of Allah. The terrorists are traitors to their own faith, trying in effect to hijack Islam itself.” – G.W Bush!!! Yes, Bush!!! =S
I am not bound to please thee with my answers – Shakespeare
Mother Hookaer!!! Archie, apparently adopted originally from Sindy though…case pending.
Niga Pleze! Yours truly
Futher Mucker! Junaid
“I’ll eat a rat if I have to!” – Shavin
“Kiss my Ass”~ Whitney Houston to Bobby Brown
ME: Urgh! There’s an eye lash in my mouth!
AVI: Why? you madeout with an eye..!
Saarah Ahamed: OMG you are colour blind!
ME : Yea?
SAA: Leme see your eyes?!?!
AVI: You know the Burge Dubai, its massive.
CHAMIL: Where is that?!?
AMY: Calvin and Klein
Sunday Times: Faceback (facebook)
Shali: so yummy it had the purple thing
Chamil(Walking) : Don’t run you’ll get wet faster!
Me (Running): !!!
Pradika: What! You didn’t buy shit!!!
Esho: I don’t buy shit anywhere.
Cream always rises to the top Life
Anisha: Ewww! Your lips are cracked…
Khaleel: Your heart is cracked.
Shavin: Oh yea, she’s still hot…but she was better before…relationship weight.
You are who you choose to be. Dumbledore/ JK Rowling
It is a privilege, not a right to be a Thomian – Life
Avinda: Like one muslim chick asked this (Ausie) guy at maccas..” is this burger halal?”….and he was like ” Who’s halal?”
Shavin: Study only when you feel like it.
Naz: One sec
Naz: Sorry, was on a call
Shali: With who ah? ure Sextot?
(Lanette, pregnent and trying to lock a job position)
Tom: Give me the phone! You’re having contractions we need to go!
Lanette: I swear if you touch this phone, I will have this baby right here and then beat you with it!
If you deny me before man, I will deny you before our creator – Prophet Mohamed SAW (PBUH)
Me: I’ll Fedex you snow and then you’ll be like awwwww
Shali: Go die
Sociology Prof: Invasion of the Pig of the Bays! (Bay of Pigs)
Shavin: errr sinhelen liyanna ay? haha. Minissu kiyawanawada?
Me: egolan balanawa.
Shavin: ahh hari hari, mata ara moona potha dannawane?moona pothe liyumak ewanna
Me: whats moona potha
Shavin: moona potha yako!
Me: what the hell is that
Shavin: engiriisiyata harawapan
Shavin: muhuna potha
Me: OH!! HAHAHAH
Behind every great Royalist is a woman with a Thomian lover Life
Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do. Wolfgang
Pradika: Well she’s disappeared from the side of earth so she cant talk about not replyin
Me: No men not really, I was chattin with her for like 45 mins at a stretch last week
: Oh ok..then its selective disappearance
(Sends link to Nazran)
Shavin: Who is this chick? And why don’t we know her?
Chicky /Kamer says:
IM NOT A STABLE PERSON
CAN TOYU SEE THATMATE
I CANT EVENT YPE PRPOERLY
I AM GONIG TO FUDGE IT UP
Naz – http://www.literartist.blogspot.com says:
I KNOW… I DONT TALK TO STABLE PEOPLE LIKE THIS!
Christie: Hello, this is Christie
Nazran: Hello this is Amanda
Nazran: Oh! Sorry this is not Amanda, this Nazran! Sorry!
(My 65 year old supervisor getting mad at me for repeatedly leaving my assigned post at work)
Christie frowns, lifts her hand, aims, and then points her finger at me like a gun: “I’ll shoot you!” =S
Coffee is cheap; drinks are an audition. Lunch is an interview; and Dinner is romance. Anonymous
A bigmade spectator outside a rugby match getting a body check to pass security: “Mokadda Bung? Mage ganith mechara badaganne naa!”
(Commenting on the recent killings of 8 beggers in Colombo)
Dada: I don’t know what has happened to this country now; even the beggers aren’t safe. Who kills a begger?
Me: Will you ever settle for an arranged marriage?
Fawaz: Depends on who the bitch is.
(Outside White Horse one night)
Sashi: Oh…My…God! Everyone on Facebook is here!
Courtesy of Aysha – Sri Lankan flirt: Is your father from Ratnapura? Because you’re one gem of a girl.
Dada: Naji, remind me to put that poison in the night ah, for the cat.
Me: The cat!
Dada: The rat!
Shavin: Nazran Baba and alcohol is like Mel Gibson marrying a Jewish woman; never going to happen.
Dinuk: What will happen if I eat more than 5 eggs?
Naveendran: You’ll become a chicken.
Hasitha: Naz, a hearse goes faster than this man.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt
Shafna: I’m going to cook special Chinese fried rice.
Shahir: Here, first learn to cook normal rice men!
Shali: Hahaha…You watch Gossip Girl!?!
Nazran: Yea why? It’s not like I’m watching Glee.
Kamer: Ey! I watch Glee!
(School Headmaster’s speech)
Mr. Arulanandan/Kotiya: …I have two daughters; both are girls…
Aysha Aunty (Ismail): Do you know that my neighbour lost a 110lbs overnight?
Me: What! How?
: His wife died.
Me: She has statused him.
Shafna: Dude big words men, I can’t find a dictionary now.
First marriage proposal…fail.
Kamer: If you were a woman I’d marry you.
Me: Even though I’m color blind I know my traffic lights okay; the order helps me, cuz the green is always on top na
(My International Student Advisor)
Mr.Roehm: When you can’t find a job its a recession; when I lose my job, its a depression.
(Me practicing “air bending” at MC after watching the movie Air Bender).
Shadrach: Here! If you’re doing air bending, do it properly! Looks like you’re cleaning the cobwebs!
(One cosy night in Nuwara Eliya)
Aysha: They didn’t want her in the family so they got rid of her.
Saarah: You can’t say that! Princess Diana is Queen Elizabeth’s daughter no.
Aysha: OMG! Saarah…! Baahahahaha…
Kevin in a session with his Econ tutor
Kevin: This one, what does it mean?
Tutor: Hmmm…Okay…So, let’s see…What do you think it means, Kevin?
Kevin (thinking): Bitch! I ain’t paying you $10 an hour to hear what I think! Just give me the answer!
Prof.Menon: Why do we consider some atrocities worse than others? The killing of 6 million Jews is called the abominable holocaust; but then we all know what the extermination of the Native Americans by the thousands is called.
Avinda: Malaysian (college dorm) accommodation is like a Muslim wedding.
A Random sleepy student comes strolling into a 200 student psychology class halfway through in the third week of the semester and asks from the back when everybody turns.
Random student: IS THIS MACRO (ECON) 100?
Prof. Fante: NO! This is Psychology; so you’re in the right place.
Struggling and picking pastries with his fingers from a paper bag
Quadir: They should have put some thongs in this bag no. (tongs)
Adding a new contact on Skype
Naz: Are you fathima.shafna11?
Fausi Aunty: That Bradpitt. Pfft. I mean, just like any other guy on the street no?
Khaleed: Wow! What street do you live on?
From a psychology text book, on the inability for humans to perform proper thought suppression. Russian Novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky remarked on the difficulty of thought suppression:
“Try to pose yourself this task: not to think of a polar bear and you will see that the cursed thing will come to mind every minute.”
Fausi Aunty: No, she’s not pretty. That’s like someone who once said Hilary Swank is beautiful.
Aysha Aunty: Oh, no! I’m sure her mother must have said that.
Me: I’m sorry, which part of I don’t give a fuck, from my face can’t you read?
Me being a slight bitch, to ******, to save embarrassment his name has been omitted
Samantha: Professor, have you seen Inglorious Basterds? Prof.Wenthe: Actually, no I haven’t.
Samantha: You should. I’m sorry to anyone in class, well I’m Jewish, but…my brother…he calls it…”porn for Jews.”
A personal policy. This one helps avoid “friends”/ users.
Naz: Want me when in need? Need me when in not.
Secret by the Pierces: Cause two can keep a secret if one, of them is dead.
Nazran: Im translating a Maha Gama Sekera kavi (poem)
Mother: what is that?
Nazran: Not what is that. It’s a person
Mother: Ah, i thought its one of those bakthi gees
Chuck: That’s Blair. She wouldn’t waste a breath hurling an insult if she knew it wouldn’t land.
Elana: Say again?
Nazran: What do you think in, English or Hebrew?
[2:04:41 PM] shafna……: are u talking to genushka
[2:05:06 PM] Nazran Baba: im being interviewed
[2:07:25 PM] shafna……: like a job interview on skype?
[2:07:31 PM] shafna……: wow dude good luck
[2:07:33 PM] shafna……: ill ttul
[2:09:11 PM] Nazran Baba: no men
[2:09:16 PM] Nazran Baba: paper interview
[2:09:28 PM] shafna……: wtf?
[2:09:45 PM] shafna……: aint u supposed to do it on paper then?
(I don’t know who is wrong here, Shaf or me. What I had meant was, I was being interviewed for a research paper on Skype).
“VIRGIN MOBILE KNOWS WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE INTERNET. LIKE WHEN YOU’RE STUCK AT GRANDMA’S – BORING!!!”
Justin Beiber: It’s a Beiber 6G fever!
Sharon Osbourne :What’s a 6G?
Ozzy Osbourne: What’s a Beiber???
Shariq in an e-mail to Khaleel:
Khaleel im down stairs and my entry is ready…come pick it up when you are not lazy…or maybe we can meet half way in the microwave area..
One of my co-workers in one of his rules of the Universe:
Lloyd Blain: “You get back what you put out”
Shahir: Have you seen Stevie Wonder’s wife?
Saarah Deen: Errr no..
Shahir: Neither has he. Lol
Saarah: Duhh..what sorta Question is that..that’s like asking if i’v seen Halle Berry’s husband.. (rolls eyes*)
“A writer is someone who writes.” – William Stafford
Professor Wisman, taking attendance: “Avi Boob-lick” (Avi Bublick)
“Nothing unites the internal fortress like an external enemy” – Yours Truly
“Bush put down the marker…saying he wanted Obama “dead or alive.” (Osama) – The Washington Post, May 2nd 2011.
“Nobody but you are responsible for your own life. It doesn’t matter what your mama did; it doesn’t matter what your daddy didn’t do. You are responsible for your life. You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others.Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.’ – Oprah Winfrey, her last show.
” ‘Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never-‘ That’s bullshit, right. Nothing, can hurt a person more than language.” – A very wise Professor
Lanette: I went to the doctor again…I’m, pregnant.
With a baby?
Bad poets imitate. Good poets steal. – T.S.Eliot
Me to Kamer
Naz: Quite wise you are. What did you do last night? Make out with Dumbledore?
Pradika: like you go to church
Shavin: Excuse me! I go to church fairly frequently, its just that i haven’t gone in a few months.
In literature only trouble is interesting – Janet Burroway
If you’re not busy being born, then you’re busy dying – Bob Dylan
Blair Waldorf, “The most important parties to attend are the ones you’re not invited to.”
Hell is story friendly. If you want a compelling story, put your protagonist among the damned. The mechanisms of hell are nicely attuned to the mechanisms of narrative. Not so the pleasures of Paradise. Paradise is not a story. It’s about what happens when the stories are over. – Charles Baxter
The difference between the right word and the almost right word…is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug – Mark Twain
Sadir: Khaleel, you’ve lost some weight, but you’ve put on a bit more.
Music is but the painkiller of emotion – Yours Truly
Serena van der Woodson – It’s the people you know best that you can hurt the most
Yours Truly – Ideas are air if they cannot be executed
Language most shows a man: speak that I may see thee – Ben Johnson
You campaign in poetry. You govern in prose – Mario Cuomo
Before long you will forget all about me and leave me for your brown skinned beauties – Kevin Altman
Blended imitations stirred with splashes of novelty are the basis for originality. They are the paints and brushes that help furnish my art. – Moi
The tongue is a creative force – Morris E. Moore (Office Chauffeur)
[T]heory and criticism become tools for revealing the limitations of social narratives and indicating new directions for understanding, expression, and interpretations – Steven Venturino
Identities are social realities, not personal or physical facts. So when society gives you a label, you can try to tear it off, but you can also wear it proudly, wear it subversively, transform it, or even revise it – Steven Venturino
Sharendra (to moi): You’re like Obama. Unbelievably busy, but ironically available.
With serious injuries, you simply have to realize that your life has changed. It’s tough, but you need to move old goals to the back burner and start finding new ones. Comparison is the thief of joy, so try not to view your current situation through the lens of your former self. Oh, and stay away from Instagram—especially on powder days – Brenna Schwert, skier, runner, hiker, and all-around outdoors woman; out of commission for a year after dislocating her pelvis while downhill skiing.