The Literartist

To all those Kate Middleton haters, pardon me, but, do back off! She’s hot and that’s all that matters. Her surname is Middleton, no she isn’t chained to the middle-class. She grew up in the country; no she isn’t a country-bumpkin. Her interests are in the fine arts; sorry, no gold-digger here. When she walks into a party, William’s friendly elite snobs whisper “doors to manual” in reference to her parents’ prior careers with the air line industry. Go suck on your martini-drenched olives, at least they worked for their self-worth!

What people conveniently forget is that the oh-so loved Princess Diana was a “commoner”. Yes, we all know she comes from aristocracy—a direct descendent to King Charles II, but she was never a royal. Instead she was born a commoner, in terms of British nobility. Her life before Charles will attest to that further.

Back to Kate Middleton, people might consider her middle class, but her parents in actuality are well to do millionaires. There seems to be a lot of money in shipping online party stuff apparently. No millions will match the Crown Jewels, and everything else owned by the Royal Family, but hey, William ain’t getting married to no Cinderella; more like he’s going to “get it on” for the rest of his life with a Blair Waldorf—money wise, not personality, God forbid.

Sri Lankans also have something to be proud about when it comes to Kate Middleton. The soon to be Princess Catherine (that sounds important and perfect. Oh, did you haters think she was going to be called Princess Kate? Poor you) has an engagement ring which is also making the world go gaga. Stop thinking of Lady Gaga now. The ring is set around a deep blue oval Ceylon Sapphire—score Sri Lanka! If you too want a big blue sapphire like that, let me know. No seriously, I’m not joking. If you know me, you’ll know why. Anyway, it was the same ring Diana got, which might be either cute like “aww” or ominous like WTF! You can decide.

And what’s all this focus on Kate being too below William’s standards? What standards are those exactly? He’s not marrying some gypsy he got lucky with one night at a club. Kate seems to handle herself like she has been a royal all her life. About her mother’s embarrassing mishaps, I will not comment on. This apple was shot out far from that tree.

However, William on the other hand always gets an easy pass though doesn’t he? His angelic face and smile, grants him a free ride; his personality is irrelevant; he’s a “pretty” (as my co-worker uses the term) prince and that’s it. If anything he’s a “pretty” player! I do wonder how their marriage will turn out. This apple seems to have latched on to the tree.

If he wasn’t a prince, he would have fit in perfectly had he been air dropped into Tinseltown. Within a week he would have known all of young Hollywood and within the second week, he might have even done it with Snooki. Okay fine, not Snooki, urgh! I have to admit even he has taste. Someone else then, Justin Bieber! On one of the Prince’s very high nights with a lot of them royal herbs and a royal pardon in the morning.

That is a lot. Middleton is hot. Adieu.